Receiving an ADHD Diagnosis as an Adult
Recently, I received an ADHD diagnosis.
Surprise, surprise.
It wasn’t anything I didn’t already know, but finally having the official diagnosis, the piece of paper, brought something unexpected: validation.
Everyone’s journey with neurodiversity is different. For many adults, the path to an adult ADHD diagnosis begins with a lifelong sense of being different, followed by years of self-doubt, and eventually, acceptance. I’ve been on that journey for as long as I can remember.
Growing Up Neurodivergent Without Knowing
As a child, I was deeply self-aware; a trait that comes with both strengths and struggles. I was shy, often hiding, always nervous. But in the right environment, I was also free, energetic, joyful, and endlessly curious.
Growing up felt like a constant internal battle. I wanted connection, play, and friendship, but I was also anxious and exhausted by social interaction. I didn’t understand the unspoken rules of relationships. I didn’t understand why friendships that started so well often faded.
I didn’t struggle to make friends; it was keeping them that confused me, despite how much effort I put in. This experience is common among neurodivergent adults, particularly those who were never identified in childhood.
Throughout my twenties, I found it difficult to form lasting, genuine friendships and romantic relationships because I never quite grasped the rules others seemed to know instinctively. As a result, I often gave people too many chances.
Adult ADHD, Parenthood, and Self-Acceptance
Now I am a parent of two small children, and I’ve come to an important realisation: having an ADHD diagnosis doesn’t actually change who I am. I already knew I was different.
What the diagnosis gives me is comfort. It reframes years of self-doubt and struggle, showing me that they were not personal failures, but the result of a brain that works differently; something increasingly recognised in conversations around neurodiversity acceptance.
I am not a perfect human. I am not an ideal mother, partner, or friend, and I no longer expect myself to be. Understanding ADHD in parents has helped me let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace compassion instead.
I am human, and that is enough.
How Neurodiversity Enhances Identity and Relationships
My differences don’t only bring challenges; they also enhance every role I hold. They shape how I show up with depth, empathy, creativity, intuition, and emotional awareness; qualities often overlooked in discussions about ADHD.
Many women, in particular, experience a late ADHD diagnosis after years of masking and misunderstanding themselves. Seeing my experiences reflected in others has been both grounding and healing.
Now I know, officially, that my neurodiversity has played a meaningful role in shaping who I am. And instead of seeing that as something to fix, I’ve learnt to see it as something to understand, accept, and even be grateful for.
If you’ve experienced a late ADHD diagnosis or identify as neurodivergent, you’re not alone. Your journey is valid, and acceptance doesn’t mean changing who you are; it means finally understanding yourself. If you need support on your journey to acceptance and understanding of your own neurodivergencies, I’m here.
Sabine,
The Dyslexia Coach